


A Change in the Air

by HartwinMakethMan



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes Recovering, F/M, Friendship, Lifting Mjolnir, M/M, Pepper and Tony are engaged, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-12
Updated: 2015-09-22
Packaged: 2018-04-20 10:33:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4784183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HartwinMakethMan/pseuds/HartwinMakethMan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pepper Potts is a very busy woman. She has a company to run, and wedding to plan, and an organization to rebuild-- the last thing she needs is to be left alone with a still-recovering, still-traumatized Bucky Barnes while the Avengers are fighting the Big Bad of the Week. </p>
<p>He was none too happy about it, either, at least. </p>
<p>The two of them pass the time and learn a bit about what's beneath the surface of each other's lives.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was dark out– dark and quiet and peaceful after the Avengers latest battle. Stark Tower was dimly, warmly lit by those left behind to wait for the heroes to come home: Pepper Potts and Bucky Barnes, the newest edition to the Avengers’ macabre little family. 

Typically, Pepper Potts was far from the “waiting around” type. She was a very busy woman– Stark Industries was up in the stock market, the wedding plans were ahead of schedule, and she was the new joint director of a fledgling SHIELD, doing her best to help Maria and Coulson in trying to fill the massive gap left by its corrupt predecessor. She had no time to wait around for her fiance and his friends to return from the War of the Week. As long as he came home in– more or less– one piece, her nerves and heart would have to play second fiddle to her business. She and Tony had talked about it a lot.

Looking after a broken, traumatized man who used to be a world-class assassin had not been on her list of plans for that fall evening, and Tony hadn’t seemed too pleased about her “babysitting the resident time-bomb” either, but.. Well, Barnes just looked so  _sad_ and  _lost_ sitting at the kitchen table with Steve curled close to him,with his hair pulled into a haphazard bun and his metal arm hidden by the massive hoodie that had to be Steve’s. His eyes were haunted, and the idea of Steve going off to fight without him was downright impossible for the man to grasp. Cap had had to sit his friend down for a long time, reassuring him over and over again that he would be okay, that Bruce and Sam both agreed that Bucky was still too unstable to be in the field, and he would have his teammates to protect him. 

Later, she definitely saw Natasha shoot Barnes a look, as if to tell him Cap was in good hands, and he nodded back to her with a grateful-looking little half-smile. But, it didn’t help Bucky much once the others shipped out and left him and Pepper alone. 

He paced like a caged tiger. He chewed the nails on his flesh hand, and scratched at what she imagined must have been the scars where his metal arm met his body– she made sure to put a put a stop to that, even though Bucky nearly jumped out of his skin, glaring daggers at her for a while afterward. After a few hours of restless waiting, they resigned themselves to tensely sitting on opposite sides of the living room, Barnes staring out the huge windows like he might be able to see Steve fight if he looked hard enough, glancing back to the door to make sure that Steve wasn’t coming through right then and needing Bucky’s attention. Pepper watched his nervous little routine from over the top of her bridal magazine, listening to the tapping of metal fingertips on the glass, methodical and grating on her nerves as she mentally debated organza and chiffon and tried not the think of Tony, out in the field where he had almost died too many times–

“Is there  _any_ way we can see what’s goin’ on down there?” Barnes wasn’t loud, but the force of the words punching into the tense silence made Pepper jump and drop her magazine with a flutter and a clunk on the marble floor. He was standing rigidly across the room, looking so damn desperate that it broke her heart. After a split second he seemed to realize that he scared her, and glanced down at his toes– Pepper could have sworn she saw the Winter Soldier even  _blush_ – and mumbled “I mean, would the fight be on the news, or… I don’t know.”

“You just want to know he’s safe.” she finished for him, nodding and trying to look as non-threatening as possible. Barnes managed half a nod before he deflated with a sigh, folding himself back up in his spot on the floor with his head in his hands. He looked like a kid. 

Sighing, Pepper looked down at her engagement ring. It twinkled and winked back at her like Tony was telling her they would all be just fine. She’d be lying if she said she didn’t need the reminder. Standing up from her place on the sofa, she took a deep, calming breath, and walked over to where Bucky was crumpled up on the marble tile and sat down beside him, remembering to give him a solid amount of space. He  _had_ killed over two dozen people– now, though, she was finding it hard to believe.

“I’m…” she started lamely, pausing when she felt that gray stare on her “I can’t pretend to know a single thing about your life, or-or what’s happened to you. But, I’ve been playing this waiting game for a few rounds… Watching the news will just drive you crazy, and staring back and forth from the window to the door will only give you whiplash. Just do  _something_ : flip through a magazine, or go to that business meeting, or– I don’t know– knit, or stare at your ring, or whatever… I’m sure this sounds pretty stupid to you–”

“No, it doesn’t.” the voice was a little hoarse from disuse still, even after almost 6 months of recovery. “Can- can I see it? Your ring, I mean..” 

She was so excited to get any sort of reaction that she practically shoved the thing in his face, but he managed to take her hand in his– surprisingly warm– metal one, and inspected the delicate band of silver and diamonds. He smiled gently after a long moment. 

“Looks like that thing– that first arc reactor– that Stark keeps in his lab..” he mumbled, still holding her hand for a second until he caught himself, and let it go like it shocked him with a 1000 volts. “S-sorry for scarin’ you, earlier.” 

“Water under the bridge…” She replied, still dumbfounded by the gentle soul she wasn’t expecting. It was quiet for a moment, still awkward, but less wired. 

“Do you… D’you have a dress picked at all?” Bucky mumbled out, looking up sheepishly through the bits of hair that had slipped out of his ponytail “I mean– I’m sorry, I’m tryin’ to keep occupied, and I don’t have any yarn..” he smiled wryly, and Pepper must’ve looked really stupid as she gaped at the  _Winter Soldier_ making a  _joke_. A shocked and pleasantly surprised laugh bubbled out of her, and she grabbed her magazine from its place on the floor, flipping to the first dog-eared page. 

They talked about the pros and cons of a summer wedding or fall, organza or chiffon, small ceremony or big, for an undetermined amount of time– it was a  _long_ time. Bucky was still tense, still traumatized and sad, but by the time the Sun had gone down she actually knew what his laugh sounded like, and that was something she was starting to think would never happen. 

“Yeah…” she found her way to after a while “Marriage has changed a lot since your time, I guess. They’re big, and grand– a really lucrative business.. Same-sex marriage is even legal in some states.” Bucky didn’t say anything, but she could feel the change in the air, looking over to see an indescribable look on his face. His eyes were big and soft, and his mouth was slack with shock. Pepper was about to ask if she said something wrong when he cut her off with a small, but  _eager_ voice. 

“Is-is New York one of… one of those states?” she was hit once again by how childlike Barnes could be. Pepper nodded and watched the morphing show of emotions flicker across his face, settling on a disbelieving,  _hopeful_ smile “I never thought I’d see the day…” 

And then it hit her, watching Bucky glance down at his own fingers, grinning and muttering to himself. “Oh my god.” she said, catching his gaze again. Every move he and Steve made, the unwavering loyalty and love, the way Steve was the only one who could touch Bucky to calm him, or talk him down from one of his panic attacks. it all made so much sense. She couldn’t believe she missed it. “All this time, I just thought you were best friends. You and Steve– you’re together, aren’t you?” He looked terrified for a second, and Pepper backtracked as fast as she could “Oh, don’t worry, no one will judge you– Jeez, Tony’ll have a field day. Everyone will love it, you don’t need to be afraid.” She grinned “This isn’t the forties, Bucky. You can be with him now.” 

The smile on his face could have lit up Stark Tower. 

“Ms. Potts?” JARVIS interrupted, sending Bucky jumping to his feet and looking for a threat. She grabbed his flesh hand without a thought, tugging him back down to sit, saying “It’s okay, it’s okay– it’s just JARVIS…” over and over like a mantra to bring Bucky back to relative calm. The moment was broken, but at least he didn’t smack her away when she touched him– the way he would to anyone who got too close nowadays. Except for Steve, and sometimes Natasha. 

“Yes, Jay?” 

“The team are back and on the elevator up to you– I report minor scrapes and cuts, but no serious wounds.” the AI said, and Pepper released the breath that she always held in times like that, waiting for Tony to come home. 

“See?” she said to Bucky, standing and stretching, offering a hand to help him up that he didn’t even flinch from. “Just take your mind off it, and they come back okay.” The elevator dinged “Go get your man, Sergeant Barnes.” she grinned, and caught a touch of mischief in his eyes when he glanced back at her. 

The group that piled off the elevator were ragged and dirty, blood staining their suits and faces, and Pepper ran to Tony the second she saw him, already out of the suit, sweaty and dirty. All eyes went to Bucky, however, who threw himself into Steve’s arms, squeezing him tight before pulling away to look over every bump and scrape on the supersoldier. Steve chuckled at the antics until Bucky grabbed him by the cheeks and kissed him like the world was ending. 

There were gasps. Pepper would definitely never hear the end of it from her flabbergasted fiance. Steve barely took a second to grip Bucky tight and kiss him back. 

The rest of the night was a blur– too many questions to be answered at once, not with everyone so exhausted and sore. Steve and Bucky barely let go of each other a single time, with Steve gently carding his fingers through Bucky’s hair, and the other man resting his ear over the supersoldier’s heart whenever he could spare the moment.

Everyone was finally starting to shuffle off to bed when Steve, Tony, and Thor got caught in some conversation. Bucky came up along the supersoldier’s side, pressing himself close as Steve wrapped an arm around him. 

“Ready for bed?” Steve just managed to sleepily nod. They bid everyone goodnight, ignoring Tony’s ribbing about “going to bed” but Bucky paused, turning around. “Oh– Thor, I grabbed this off the floor for you. Figured that Stevie here was bound to trip over it and bust himself up in the mornin’.” he said causally, yawning and holding out Mjolnir for the god to take. 

Again, everybody stopped and stared. Thor’s mouth hung agape, Pepper was pretty sure Tony’s hit the floor. Steve took a moment to look shocked, only to start laughing disbelievingly at his boyfriend’s antics all over again. 

“Well,” he said “You are just full of surprises tonight, Buck.”

“Can we please just go to bed?” Barnes asked, as if he’d done nothing remarkable. “I’m too tired for y’all to be starin’ at me like this.” He dragged his metal hand down his face, finally getting Thor to take his hammer. 

“And I’m too tired to really process it.” Steve chuckled, kissing Bucky’s forehead and leading him away. The two made their way down the hall, catching the echo of Steve telling Bucky “You really are amazing, you know?” 

Barnes just chuckled, leaning up to kiss the other’s cheek.   

“G’night, Ms. Potts!” Pepper heard him call over his shoulder before they disappeared around the corner. 

Tony asked her later what the Hell they had talked about, how the Hell Bucky just  _lifted_ the hammer, what did she tell him that could have inspired that. She answered only that Bucky had been worthy all along. Why couldn’t he have been? They just talked about the wedding. Bucky had had some good ideas, she wanted to run them by him in the morning. He muttered something about her knowing where the checkbook was, and drifted off beside her.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning brought with it overcast skies and a thunderstorm warning in the forecast. Steve woke up sore from the battle the night before, hours later than he usually would, disoriented and warm with the comforting weight of Bucky pressed up close to his side.

A lot had changed in Bucky from the man Steve had known before the fall– he was haunted, more than anything after the first Hydra base, all those years ago. His hair was long now, but still soft, pulled back into a messy ponytail or bun when he was awake. His eyes were more guarded, and his posture was more tired. He slouched over and curled in on himself in any situation more stressful than a few people in the Tower, keeping an eye on the exits.

When he’d first come to Stark Tower, on a dark, rainy night in March, Steve had barely been able to touch him without him shuddering and shying away, expecting the torture he’d suffered for so long. He was a contradictory, confused mix of touch-starved and desperate to be left alone, and just when it started to drive Steve crazy, they would take another step forward in his recovery, and he would fall in love with his best friend all over again.  

Bucky was doing better– leaps and bounds better. A lot had changed, and Steve suspected some things would have to stay different, but there were also things that he didn’t think his old friend could change if he tried. He still fought tooth and nail to be able to protect and keep an eye on Steve, still curled close to him at night to keep him warm– even though now it was Bucky who was always touched with the freezing reminder of Hydra, not skinny little Steve trembling through another brutal New York winter– and he still cleaned up after Steve’s injuries and fights, no matter what the other man said. Steve didn’t make a fuss about it, though, because he knew he needed the old routine– it helped him remember, and they both relished the familiarity of the moments.

Almost all of Bucky’s memories were in order and accounted for, save the worst of the torture he endured and the most buried thoughts from before the war.

As if on cue, Bucky shifted in his sleep, brow furrowed, with a light sheen of clammy sweat forming over his skin. Steve felt his heart clench, and he smoothed his thumb over the lines in the other man’s forehead, trying to soothe them away. The familiar look of Bucky’s nightmares were the leading cause of stress in Steve’s life– not the Avengers battles for justice, the never-ending chase from paparazzi and reporters, or the slow, steady rebuilding of SHIELD. Bucky would always be Steve’s top priority. Now that he had him back, he’d be damned if he lost him again, especially for the sake of his nightmares and the constant fear he had of reverting into the Asset. Bucky was still terrified of hurting Steve, despite months of steady rehabilitation.

Bucky’s metal hand had tightened into a fist where it lay on Steve’s chest, his back was tense, and he was trembling slightly. Steve shushed the sleeping man, stroking up and down his spine to feel the muscles relax for even a couple seconds. 

He took a deep, steadying breath, bracing himself for the impact of Bucky, disoriented and afraid, to wake up in his arms. He didn’t disappoint, jerking in his embrace, making a noise between a whimper and a groan. The sound made Steve’s chest ache. He had his own flashbacks and nightmares still– between that and the past months of helping Bucky find stability at Stark Tower, Steve had had more than enough experience with waking up in terror, the panic attacks, and the constant weight of the depression that came with all the rest. Somehow, though, this never got any easier. 

The first patters of rain on the windows heralded Bucky’s eyes fluttering open to the world. His gray gaze was unfocused and frightened, snapping open wide and immediately bolting upright in the bed. He moved away from Steve like he wasn’t sure where or who he was, his breathing fast and erratic, his trembling flesh hand pulling at the scarring of his metal arm. First, it was just like an absent-minded itch, until it was more like he was trying to rip off the prosthetic, desperately yanking at it like he used to when he first started deprogramming. There were tears in his eyes, but Steve knew that he had no clue they were there. 

“Buck? Bucky, you’re gonna hurt yourself–” Steve finally forced his vocal cords to work, reaching out and trying to take the other man’s hand, restrain him in some way so he wouldn’t give himself nerve damage, but Bucky jumped away at the sight of Steve’s hand, scrabbling backward on the bed until he nearly fell off. “Bucky, do you know who I am?” He fought to keep his voice calm, still reaching out for the trembling man that he loved, hating that that was the first question he had to ask. 

There was a long moment of nothing but rain until Bucky managed a gasping breath, tears finally spilling down his cheeks. He had stopped yanking at his arm, back to scratching at the scar tissue like an itch that just wouldn’t go away. His breath hitched with crying and Steve ached to pull him close, but knew it was still too much. It took all of his self control to keep sitting there at the other end of the bed while Bucky dissolved into sobs.

“I-I… Oh God,  _Steve_ …” He finally whimpered between gasps, shaking like a leaf, tugging at his hair and arm. Steve shushed him, allowing himself to inch closer. 

“It’s okay, it’s alright… Buck, you’re not there, you’re with me and I’m gonna keep you safe.” His voice was thick and choked, and he cursed his stupid emotions, focusing on Bucky. 

The other man shook his head, making his hair fall into his eyes and starting to back up more. Steve caught his hand as he almost tipped off the edge of the bed, pulling him to sit beside him. “N-no, no Steve I d-don’t want…”

“What don’t you want? What happened?” 

“I-I took the fuckin’ shot!” he finally spit out the words, the volume punching the air, and Bucky immediately shied back away from his friend. “I k-killed you, Stevie– this ain’t safe! I’m just gonna hurt you again, I-I  _can’t_ be with you, I can’t be with anybody…” he dissolved back into tears, and Steve gave up on trying to restrain himself, pulling Bucky into his arms and squeezing him close. 

“Don’t you say that, Buck.” he buried a hand in the long hair, holding him close and refusing to let go “It was a dream– I’m safe, you’re safe. All we’ve got is each other, and I’m not giving up on that.” 

Bucky abandoned his half-hearted attempts at pushing Steve away after a couple moments of struggle, when the first rumbles of thunder rolled through and made him jump. Steve shushed him, stroking Bucky’s hair as he melted into him and let himself cry, feeling Steve’s heartbeat against him. Holding him, muttering soothing little words and taking deep breaths to keep his own memories of war at bay, Steve forced himself to relax. Once Bucky broke down like this, the dangers of him falling into a flashback again had passed. 

“I’m alive, Buck. I promise…” He whispered when Bucky’s sobs became sniffles and he rucked up Steve’s tank top to feel his heartbeat with nothing between them. He kissed his forehead and even managed to chuckle a little when Bucky leaned his nose into the crook of his neck, tickling him. “No one’s taking me away.”

“It ain’t other people I’m worried about…” He replied a little darkly, burrowing impossibly closer to Steve’s chest.

“Buck–” he pulled his boyfriend up to look at him. “You will  _not_ try to hurt me, I have complete faith that–” a crash of thunder took over the room, and Bucky flinched. 

“You don’t know that, Stevie, an’ neither do I. I could go fuckin’ crazy at any second.”

“That hasn’t happened in months.”

“But what if it does–?” 

“It won’t!” Steve nearly shouted. Bucky shrunk in on himself, nails of his flesh hand still digging in over the other man’s heart. Lightning flashed and both of them shuddered. Steve sighed, guilt immediately biting into him for losing his temper. “I didn’t mean to yell, I’m sorry, Buck… I love you, and I trust you.” He stroked the other man’s hair out of his eyes “You’re a good man. You still are.”

Bucky didn’t seem convinced, but let him press a soft kiss to corner of his mouth anyway, humming into the touch while a broad thumb wiped away his tear tracks. There was a moment with nothing but the sound of rain– now pounding at the windows– and the two men exchanged tender, light kisses on the bed until the next strike of thunder. Steve tightened his grip around Bucky’s waist when he jumped, distracting him with sucking kisses down his throat. The other man let out a long whine and relaxed, slumping against Steve and molding their bodies together. 

“I love you too, Stevie.” He whispered into his skin, metal fingers tangling in his short blond hair. When their lips met then, there was nothing but the overwhelming passion that washed over them with the first flash of lightning. Thunder cracked and both of them sought solace and distraction in each other to keep from falling back into the past–

“ _Captain Rogers_ –” JARVIS echoed into the room, cutting through the din of the storm. Bucky nearly jumped out of his skin, gripping Steve by the shoulders. “– _Your’s and Sergeant Barnes’ presence are requested in the kitchen_.” 

Steve sighed, dragging a hand down his face to pull himself out of the fog he and Bucky had disappeared under. “Is this an emergency, JARVIS?” He heard Bucky mutter something under his breath about “stupid robots” and “freaking him out too early in the morning”. 

_“It was the request of Agent Coulson, Sir.”_

Steve felt his stomach drop. Coulson? He didn’t think Phil would be back from Vienna for another two weeks. That was what Pepper had said when Phil and Maria both set off to rebuild SHIELD PR with European and South American leaders a few months before. Suddenly, Steve’s brain buzzed with scenarios. Could something have gone wrong? Was there an issue after the battle yesterday? Was Coulson asking specifically for them, or all the Avengers? He wasted no time, standing up from the bed and pulling Bucky by the hand. 

If Bucky hadn’t steered him toward the dresser, Steve would have forgotten pants. 

The anxiety ebbed a little when Steve and Bucky turned into the kitchen to see the other Avengers milling about the coffee maker. Phil was there, in his typical suit, chatting with Pepper and Maria over steaming mugs. The two men padded barefoot over to the gang of the others, still in some semblance of pajamas and sleepiness. Tony and Clint both looked especially tired, and a glance at the clock told Steve that despite it being nearly 10 o clock, it was too early for both of them. 

“Good Morning.” he said by way of announcing his and Buck’s presence to the room. There were some grumbled greetings (Tony and Clint), more chipper hellos (Sam, Pepper, and Bruce), and Natasha, who only lifted her mug to them with a smirk. Steve flushed, realizing then that he and Bucky were still holding hands, still in their scant night clothes– Bucky in nothing but a wrinkled Captain America t shirt and black boxers, and Steve himself in a battered tank top and thin flannel pants. He looked down sheepishly, squeezing Bucky’s hand and joining the others at the table. Tony perked up enough to give them both a wolf whistle.

Bucky’s visceral glare shut him up pretty quickly, kicking out a couple of chairs side by side at the table. He slid into one across from Phil as Steve left him in favor pulling two mugs out of the cupboard.  

“You wanted us, Coulson?” he continued to glare, looking far more intimidating than any man should be able to in their underwear. Steve rolled his eyes and repressed the full grin that threatened to curve his lips watching Bucky while getting the both of them coffees. 

“What Buck means to say is: Good Morning, Phil, it’s good to see you again. How was Europe?” Steve teased, smirking back at Bucky as he sat beside him, handing over a cup of coffee. Phil smiled his usual bland smile and sipped his own mug. 

“It was excellent, Captain. Thank you for asking.” he replied “I called you here due to some things that came to light last night.” Phil raised an eyebrow. There was nothing threatening about it, but Steve flushed nervously, part of him still expecting to be court-marshaled for having his arm slung around the back of Bucky’s chair. Bucky went pale, staring down into his coffee. 

Maria seemed to catch this before Phil did, cutting in with “That’s not what he means– C’mon Phil–”

“I’m referring to Sergeant Barnes lifting the Hammer of Thor.” Coulson cleared up, and both men visibly relaxed, until a crash of thunder practically sent Bucky into Steve’s lap. The supersoldier abandoned the thin veneer of professionalism to put a calming hand on the back of his boyfriend’s neck, giving a gentle squeeze. Bucky leaned into his side and took a deep breath. 

“What’s it matter? It wasn’t even that heavy…” he groused, the weather and the audience putting him in a sour mood. “If no one’s allowed to touch it, the big guy shouldn’t leave it lying around.” 

Thor then entered, his eyes lighting up at the sight of Bucky. 

“Sergeant! These are just the people I was wanting to see.” He grinned, gesturing to the table of agents and supersoldiers. “Firstly, I wish to formally wish you congratulations on your courtship– you really must tell us all about how it happened someday.” He clapped Steve on the shoulder, making him blush red yet again “But, most importantly,” his voice went serious and he looked straight into Bucky’s eyes “I am honored and thoroughly pleased to know that Mjolnir has deemed you worthy.” 

Bucky stared at him like he had five heads and was speaking Greek. “Am I supposed to follow any of that?” he deadpanned after a long moment, the flash of lightning drawing him closer to Steve’s side. 

“You lifted the hammer– Mjolnir–” Tony cut in “and proved that you’re better than all of us, RoboCop.” 

Bucky rolled his eyes, giving a humorless laugh. But, no one joined him, and the ex-assassin’s wry smirk faded. He looked to Steve for some kind of an explanation. 

“Is this some kinda joke?” Steve smiled sadly before shaking his head. “But, that doesn’t make a lick of sense, I….” he trailed off, frowning like he couldn’t wrap his brain around it. 

“Your ability to lift Mjolnir is something completely unique, Bucky.” Pepper said softly, sensing the delicacy of the situation. Thunder rolled through the distance again, and he shivered. “Only you and Thor are worthy of the hammer.” Bucky shook his head through the entire time she spoke, like he was flicking water off of himself, shaking her words away. 

“That’s impossible…” his voice was a little hoarse. 

“Then try it again.” Steve turned Bucky’s head with a finger under his chin, making him hold still and look at him. “If you can’t do it, then no harm done. But, you lifted it last night. Buck, you’re worthy– only a truly good, strong person can–”

“Then why can’t you!? You’re the only person I can think of like that. I’m nothin’ compared to you– _you’re good_ , Steve.” Bucky was frowning and confused, absently tugging at his hair, getting more agitated. Lightning flashed and the thunder growled. Rain was getting harder. Both men could feel the Avengers eyes on them, and it prickled along Steve’s spine. 

“I am, but I still can’t lift it, Buck– you can. It’s the ultimate judge of character–” 

“But that doesn’t make any  _sense_.” 

“Doesn’t make it less true.” Steve held him by the cheeks and smiled genuinely, searching his gaze and stroking his hair out of his eyes. “Try it again, Buck. Please?” They just stared at each other for a moment, Bucky still scowling, and Steve pleading with his big blue eyes. Bucky remembered the look from when they were kids, every time Steve wanted something, how he could just turn that gaze on Bucky and get it in a heartbeat. 

He sighed and rolled his eyes, shaking his head like clearing an etch-a-sketch “Alright, Stevie. One day, those eyes won’t get me…” Cap grinned, and Bucky kissed his forehead as he stood from the table and walked over to the hammer on the ground beside Thor. The god grinned encouragingly, and Bucky swallowed hard, willing himself not to shake when thunder rumbled again in the distance. 

The handle was oddly warm, and the supple leather didn’t quite mold to his hand like it should. His was just a touch too small for the big imprints that Thor had left behind, but he gripped it tight in his flesh hand and it still felt somehow right. He tugged his hair out of his eyes with his metal arm, pulling a touch too hard to keep his focus despite the many pairs of eyes trained on him. Bucky beat down the rising hope that maybe he could be worthy of this, of  _something_. Maybe he wasn’t irreparably tarnished by the past seventy years. He thought of his nightmares– shooting Steve between the eyes on the Helicarrier, leaving him to drown, being unable to remember in time what it means to be with someone _to the end of the line_. The thunder was gone, but rain still pounded the windows of Stark Tower. He shivered. 

If it weren’t for his enhanced hearing, he wouldn’t have been able to make out Tony’s mutterings “Come on, Skywalker, we’re all in suspense–”

He was cut off by the muffled sound of a punch in the gut, Natasha muttering “Shut the fuck up, Stark.” 

Bucky had to crack a little bit of a smile at that. He steeled his nerves, thought of blue eyes, and lifted. 

Just like the night before, it barely felt like he was holding anything. Mjolnir didn’t fight for a single second as Bucky picked it up and lifted it to look at. There were beautiful inscriptions and designs in the polished gray stone, the one most prominent reading  _Whoever so holds this hammer, if he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor_. He exhaled a breath he didn’t know he was holding, and had to grin when he looked up to meet Steve’s eyes.  

He was rooted to the spot, felt like this had to be a dream, as much as he wanted it to be real. There had to be something wrong. There was no way this was his life. But, Steve stepped forward, grinning his  _I Told You So_  grin, kissing Bucky with all the love in the world, and the other man decided to just let the moment be. He smiled against Steve’s lips, throwing his arms around his broad shoulders with the hammer still clutched in his hand, letting his Captain pull him against him, holding his waist tightly. He felt  _warm_ , which was something precious after spending so long frozen.  

He felt like himself just that little bit more. Like kissing him for the first time without worrying about the others seeing the night before, like talking about fabric and weddings with Pepper Potts. It was a moment of clarity in a world that was still too confusing and fuzzy around the edges after decades of pain. Bucky buried his nose in Steve’s neck and breathed.

“This is how I know you won’t hurt me.” Steve whispered for his ears only “You’re a good man, James Barnes…”

“Alright, Lovebirds–” Maria called for their attention. Clint wolf whistled, and even Bruce and Nat were grinning at them when they parted. “The plan here is, of course, for Bucky to train to use Mjolnir in battle.” The chatter immediately quieted. Pepper, Maria, and Phil stood at the other end of the room. 

“What?” Clint spoke for what everyone was thinking. Pepper smiled proudly.

“I’m the new PR director of SHIELD, and, since things are moving so well with the rebuilding, and reconnecting with our European and South American allies, we’ll be going public sooner than expected. I have a plan for introducing this to the public, and… Well, with your past, Bucky, you’ll be our biggest challenge. It’ll be a good idea to have something tangible for the media to gauge that you’ve changed. Mjolnir could be that something.” She smiled kindly when she saw that Bucky clearly considered himself a burden for making the relaunch harder for his friends, cutting him off before he had a chance to needlessly apologize “No, no no– you’re fine. The public will need a little encouragement, that’s all.” She stepped forward, going on to gesture at the way the two of them were still intertwined “This will also need to be talked about, too, but–”

“I don’t know about Stevie here, but I’m done hiding– we spent 4 years sneakin’ around, an’ everybody is gonna know now that we don’t need to hide.” Bucky glared, hackles rising, and Steve just chuckled, stroking his back and kissing his temple.

“Don’t worry, Buck. We’ll talk about it.” he murmured, taking advantage of the slight height difference and nosing along his hairline “I’m sure that’s not what she means.” He did look at the three agents meaningfully over Bucky’s shoulder though, and Pepper’s smile got a touch more nervous. 

“No– that’s not what I meant. I was actually thinking… and this would be later, but I was thinking that I would arrange a magazine interview and photoshoot. I’m corresponding with the editor of Time, and they’re interested. Nothing makes the media swoon like a good love story– and I can already tell that  _yours_ is pretty epic.” 

“They are pretty damn cute.” Sam smirked, shooting them a wink that made Steve blush and Natasha laugh. Bucky grinned, feeling more like himself than he had since before the fall. Since before he lost everything. 

He could feel his life rebuilding around him, and rested his head on Steve’s chest when they rejoined the group at the kitchen table, not caring about his reputation as the ex-Winter Soldier, or the way Tony and Clint mockingly cooed at them. He was  _warm_ again. He put the hammer down, part of him worrying that he’d never be able to pick it up again, but slowed himself down with a steadying breath. Bucky felt Steve’s heartbeat under his cheek and sighed. It was time to appreciate a moment for what it was. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr at bitchbetterhavemybucky for new fics, stucky love, and pop into my askbox for headcanon discussions!

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on Tumblr at bitchbetterhavemybucky for new fics and pop into my askbox for headcanon discussions!


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